


miyagi prefecture high school men's volleyball camp— otherwise known as hell

by everythingoeshome



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chaos, Comedy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hell, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Canon Compliant, POV Yachi Hitoka, Shenanigans, Spiders, Training Camp, Water Balloon Fights, Water Guns, What Have I Done, Yachi Hitoka is the MVP, Yachi Hitoka-centric, no beta we die like the women kiyoko would want us to be, testosterone filled volleyball himbos, yachi baby i'm so sorry i did this to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25826719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingoeshome/pseuds/everythingoeshome
Summary: Ushijima motioned towards the assembled teams. “Welcome—”“—to hell!”A group of boys clad in white tracksuits burst into the gymnasium, shouting and shoving each other around. Hitoka recognized the smirking figure of Oikawa Tooru, the captain of Aoba Johsai High School.Oikawa raised his arms and cackled.As if on cue, the lights shuttered off. The doors slammed shut. An eerie draft blew into the gym. Someone burst into blood curdling screams.Oh wait. That was just Hitoka herself.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shimizu Kiyoko & Yachi Hitoka, Yachi Hitoka & Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 97





	miyagi prefecture high school men's volleyball camp— otherwise known as hell

**Author's Note:**

> TW: mention of spiders
> 
> Takes place in August, post-Tokyo training camp, pre Spring High Qualifiers. Inspired by a post about "what if Miyagi had a training camp like the one in Tokyo?"

Hitoka wouldn’t exactly say she regretted her choice of accepting Shimizu-senpai’s invitation to join the volleyball club. However, sometimes she wondered what crimes she had committed in her last life to be receiving such divine punishment.

She peeked out from behind the tree just as someone hurtled a water balloon at her face.

Hitoka shrieked and flailed her arms, bolting across the perfectly manicured lawn back to the gymnasium. There was a very slim chance that no one was inside waiting to ambush innocent managers with weaponized water carriers, but it was the best Hitoka would get.

“Shit, I thought you were someone else! Sorry about that!”

She didn’t look back to respond. Hitoka had already seen enough.

* * *

As Hitoka shivered inside the managers’ room (it turned out that there _were_ people waiting to ambush innocent managers with weaponized water carriers inside the gym, and they doused her thoroughly with buckets of ice water before realizing that she “wasn’t Ushiwaka”), she tried to recall what events of the week had led up to this all out war among the high school men’s volleyball teams of Miyagi Prefecture.

* * *

“Yachi-san! We have another training camp coming up!”

Hinata burst into Hitoka’s classroom. She shrieked, dropping her bundle of papers and spilling the contents of her pencil case all over her desk. Oh no, she had never been such a klutz in front of Hinata before. After seeing such a bout of clumsiness, Hinata would realize what a mess of a person she was and probably never ask her to help with his studies again seeing that she was such an unorganized person, unable to even keep a hold on her notes while putting them away—

“I’m so sorry Yachi-san, did I startle you?” Hinata was already helping her scoop up her fallen papers.

“No, no! It’s fine! What were you saying, Hinata?” She stifled a nervous giggle and shoved a multicolored highlighter pen into a random compartment.

Hinata brightened and straightened up. “Well, Kageyama just told me we have another training camp coming up with the other schools from Miyagi! They’re holding it at Shiratorizawa, and it’ll be for a week long. Apparently they have these really nice dorms there, which we’ll be staying at, and…”

Hitoka followed quietly behind Hinata, exiting the classroom. Shiratorizawa, that huge elite academy in Sendai. Hitoka vaguely recalled receiving an acceptance letter from the school in the winter but turning it down for some reason or another. It was a much better school than Karasuno, that was for certain, and she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t gone there in the first place— well, Hitoka didn’t actually remember making the choice to go to Karasuno at all. Joining the volleyball club was the one conscious decision Hitoka had made in her entire fifteen years of existence. So far, she was enjoying the experience despite all of the scary players she ran into and all of the stray balls she had to dodge on a daily basis, and it felt like she had finally found a family to call her own, no matter how loud and boisterous they could be at times. She sighed contentedly.

“...and Ushiwaka’s this  _ huuuuge  _ player like  _ gwahhhh, _ and he’s a national top three high school ace, which is super duper amazing...”

Hitoka jolted. Hinata was still talking.

“...wish I could see players like that more often because they’re so  _ cool, _ and…”

She stopped and slapped her own cheeks.

“Yachi-san? Are you okay?”

Hitoka jumped. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t paying attention! I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

Hinata laughed and continued walking. “It’s fine, Yachi-san. I was just talking about Ushiwaka, this amazing ace that plays for Shiratorizawa. We might have practice matches against him at the training camp!” He did an excited little jig, whooping and twirling across the corridors. People gave him weird looks as they exited the school building.

Hitoka shielded her face with her hand as Hinata pranced to the club room. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of him, that wasn’t it, but she didn’t like getting attention by standing next to other people. It wasn’t something personal against Hinata and his liveliness, it was just a general uneasiness and anxiety when navigating large crowds. Well, the crowd after school wasn’t very large, and perhaps Hitoka was overthinking it a bit, and if someone asked why she was walking like that, maybe she could say something like the sun was in her eyes or—

“Oi, Kageyama! Race you to the clubroom!”

Kageyama roared from across the courtyard and began tearing after a shrieking Hinata.

Hitoka squinted after their shrinking backsides. Volleyball practice had begun.

* * *

Takeda-sensei ended practice with an announcement that they had been invited to a week-long training camp at Shiratorizawa Academy alongside several other schools in the prefecture, confirming what Hinata had mentioned earlier in the afternoon. Hitoka quietly noted it down in her planner. A training camp like the one in Tokyo?

_ (Large, gargantuan man eaters with long hair and goatees surrounding Hitoka on all sides. Hitoka reaching for a piece of meat to fend them off. Hitoka accidentally snapping up a chunk of charcoal and choking it down before the wolves cornered their prey.) _

Hitoka shook off the memory, shuddering. This was Miyagi, a semi-rural area with mild citizens and nowhere for city hooligans to hide. There were no man eaters here.

Shimizu nudged her shoulder. “You alright there, Hitoka-chan? You look a little pale.”

“Good! Very good! I’m fine!” Hitoka gulped. She flipped to another page in her journal. “Um, for the training camp, should I begin creating new sections for notes on the other schools?”

Shimizu smiled and patted her arm. “That’s very proactive of you, Hitoka-chan.”

Hitoka’s cheeks warmed. A goddess like Shimizu, complimenting a mere peasant like Hitoka. It sounded like something straight out of a fairytale.

* * *

Hitoka would remember that Shiratorizawa was a very large school. It was very white. And clean. There were many buildings. She definitely did not get lost and have a mental breakdown on her way back from the bathroom.

Her eyes swept over the gleaming gymnasium, large nets set up on several different courts and wheeled carts filled to the brim with pumped up volleyballs. She traced absentminded patterns onto her manager’s clipboard, counting the groups of students huddled in various parts of the spacious area.

Huh. They were still missing a school.

Several students milled around the open space, attempting to mingle others from different schools. Hinata was one of them, dragging along an unwilling Kageyama. From what Hitoka could see, Hinata was currently in a heated debate with the eyebrowless blocker from Date Tech High. Or well… Hitoka actually wasn’t sure what all of that bowing and gesticulating was supposed to mean.

Hitoka shivered. How Hinata managed to make friends with such terrifying beings, she would never understand.

As Hitoka attempted to pick out potential threats to her person from the immediate vicinity, a mustard yellow tracksuit invaded Hitoka’s line of sight. Squinting, she tilted her eyes up to meet with a very disconcerting grin from a boy with pierced ears.

“Oh, who’s this cutie? Which school are you from?”

Hitoka blanched. “U-uh—”

Shimizu grabbed Hitoka’s shoulders and gently pulled her away. “Men are dangerous,” she intoned gravely as another manager ran up to block Hitoka’s view of the threat.

“Back off, Terushima.” The manager was wearing the same hideous tracksuit as the boy.

The boy— Terushima— coughed sheepishly and bowed his head. “Yeah, yeah, Hana-chan.” He winked and saluted Hitoka before sauntering off.

The manager turned to Hitoka, mortified. “I’m so, so sorry that happened. Please forgive us for the disturbance.” She bowed deeply from the waist.

Hitoka blanked out. This pretty girl? Apologizing? For what? What just happened? “No, no, no, sorry for being in the way! Sorry! I’m so sorry!” She waved her arms and bowed back, knocking her nose on her clipboard.

_ Stupid, Hitoka! _

“I’m sorry—!”

“Shimizu-san, Yachi-san! Can one of you help us find Tanaka’s water?”

Daichi, Hitoka’s savior. Shimizu excused them, apologizing to the other manager for the trouble, and wheeled Hitoka back to the rest of the Karasuno students.

Hitoka stared impassively at the folded bleachers as Shimizu tracked down Tanaka’s missing water bottle, mourning the last dredges of her self esteem.

* * *

“Whacha doing there?”

Hitoka turned around cautiously, fearing that she’d run into another Terushima character. Everyone was still waiting for the last school, Aoba Johsai to arrive, and they were getting antsy. The team was almost an hour late, and the closely knit circles of students from the same schools were beginning to unravel quickly.

The first thing that Hitoka registered was purple _. Shiratorizawa.  _ Then she looked up, and all thought processes screeched to a halt.

A tall, gangly student from Shiratorizawa was peering closely at Hitoka’s face. He had long spiky red hair and a slightly unhinged look in his eye, twiddling his taped up thumbs. “Managing things already? But we haven’t even started. Ah, guess that’s what managers do. But what would I know? We don’t have any managers here anyways.” The boy narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at Hitoka’s clipboard, spinning on his heel like an unsteady top and leaving before she could give him a response.

“Uh.”

Hitoka backed slowly into the wall.

She had thought Tokyo was unnerving. Perhaps her own backyard was more dangerous after all.

* * *

By the time hour two of the wait for Seijoh rolled around, the angry old man hunching in the corner of the gym (Hitoka was about ninety percent sure he was Shiratorizawa’s coach) started barking at the students to get back into some semblance of order.

_ Starting early? Or well, late? Guess we can’t wait for that school forever— _

A wave of feedback sliced through Hitoka’s inner monologue. She screamed.

_ “GET BACK INTO ORDER YOU SHAMEFUL NITWITS!” _ The old man glared daggers at Hitoka.

Oh. It was just a megaphone. Hitoka sheepishly pried her fingers off of Shimizu’s jacket.

She snuck a look at the other side of the gym. The fight that had already broken out between Datekou’s captain, Futakuchi, and Terushima had devolved into whoever was better at scowling. (Hitoka voted Futakuchi.) The managers from both schools looked extremely tired as they hauled the players back to their coaches. Hitoka shuffled closer to Shimizu and pretended she hadn’t just witnessed two high school boys trying to tear each other’s throats out (again).

Ignoring the chaos that was currently attempting to clean itself up, Shiratorizawa’s coach nodded at his team to begin the commencement speech.

Hitoka recognized the large, stoic third year that stepped forward. His name was Ushijima Wakatoshi, the player that Hinata had talked her ear off about only a few weeks ago in the hallways of their school.

She shrank even closer to Shimizu. Tall volleyball player. Big scowl. Hazard to Hitoka’s safety. Stay far away if she valued her life.

Ushijima motioned towards the assembled teams. “Welcome—”

_ “—to hell!” _

A group of boys clad in white tracksuits burst into the gymnasium, shouting and shoving each other around. Hitoka recognized the smirking figure of Oikawa Tooru, the captain of Aoba Johsai High School.

Oikawa raised his arms and cackled.

As if on cue, the lights shuttered off. The doors slammed shut. An eerie draft blew into the gym. Someone burst into blood curdling screams.

Oh wait. That was just Hitoka herself.

* * *

Hitoka had done a fair amount of research on each of the major teams that had showed up at the training camp, and could confidently rattle off the names of the star players on each roster and the important characteristics of each team’s play style. However, she had not looked into the highly complex and apparently extremely hostile relationships between the players on each team, which was why she found herself crowded into a corner as Ushijima Wakatoshi and Oikawa Tooru sneered at each other.

_ I told myself to stay far away if I valued my life… _

“Sizing up the competition before it crushes you at the Spring High Qualifier?” Oikawa sniffed, examining his perfectly manicured nails.

“No,” Ushijima intoned. “Coach Saitou believed it would be beneficial that we build up relationships with the other high schools in the prefecture even if we are much stronger than all of them, and he was somehow able to convince Coach Washijou to host this training camp. With the skills you gain here, your desire to defeat me may finally come to fruition. However, that is highly unlikely.”

Hitoka inched fearfully towards the hallway exit as Oikawa’s eye twitched.

“Oh really, Waka-chan? Tell me—”

“Ho ho, is this a party?” Futakuchi slunk his way into the hall, arrogant smirk on his face and Aone at his back. “We’re having a captain-to-captain heart to heart here?”

“Fuck off, you little second year—”

“No, this is not a party. I was explaining to Oikawa the purpose of this training camp.”

“Shut up Ushiwaka, no one asked for you to open your trap anyways—”

Futakuchi whistled lowly. “Ah, Aone’s found his target.” Hitoka paused her escape to see Aone pointing a steady finger at Ushijima.

Futakuchi, growing ever more unhinged, threw his head back and laughed. “He’s got his eyes on you now, Ushijima. Watch out for those blocks later when we play our practice games.”

Oikawa stepped back and appraised Aone. “Your middle blocker needs to fill in his eyebrows and you need to get a new haircut, but for once I will have to agree with you. Watch your back, Ushiwaka-chan.” He stuck his tongue out at Ushijima.

The situation was quickly devolving. Hitoka would not make it out alive.

“I don’t think that will be much of a concern. I can spike past any block.”

_ “Any  _ ace would be wise to be cautious of our Iron Wall. Even you.”

“Please Ushiwaka, why don’t you just accept the fact that— oh, sorry there, manager-chan.”

Shimizu peeked into the lion’s den as Hitoka was preparing to lay down her own coffin. She had never looked more beautiful.

“Ah, Hitoka-chan, there you are! I was wondering why you were taking so long to refill the drinks.”

Hitoka dove into her arms.

* * *

“Haha, Tobio-chan! Suck my winner’s booty!”

“Your blocks are of no match for me, Datekou.”

“Could you Karasuno spikers make it  _ any _ easier for us to stuff you?”

“Man, that is a  _ sick _ set up, Tooru dude.”

“Why thank you, Yuuji-chan.”

_ “HAH? WHAT DID YOU SAY FUTA-BITCH? COME HERE AND SAY IT TO OUR FACES, YOU LITTLE COWARD.” _

Why did Hitoka purposefully choose to surround herself with violently competitive and overtly hostile teenage boys for a week again? Villager B, was it? Yes, Villager B.

She quietly hung up the jerseys from the past days’ practice and trudged back into the main gym, yawning widely. The managers had their work cut out for them. None of them had really gotten much rest in the past few days at the camp.

She flashed back to the events that had stolen all prospects of sleeping the night before.

(“Ugh, why is there so much screaming from the boys’ side?” Nametsu yawned and dug out a pair of earmuffs in the managers’ room.

“I heard Oikawa was planning on pranking Ushijima tonight in the baths, but I can’t recall what the specifics were.”

“That didn’t sound like Ushijima screaming, Hana.”

Shimizu paused as she rolled out a blanket. “Oikawa planned on planting spiders in the boys’ baths. At least, that’s what I heard from our libero.”

“Oh, that one with the dyed hair in front, Nishinoya? He’s great.”

“Thank you.”

“No but seriously, who was the poor kid that actually got pranked, though? I feel sorry for him.”

“Meh, I'm not that concerned. It’s the boys’ problem, not ours. I’m heading to sleep.”

“Good night, Mai.”

Sleepy murmurs drifted across the small room as the managers set out their futons. Hitoka exchanged fearful glances with Runa, the only other first year manager.

_ “I don’t think I’m sleeping tonight,” _ Runa mouthed.

Hitoka buried her head under her pillow as the screaming multiplied.)

The next morning at breakfast, Hitoka asked Hinata who was the poor soul who had encountered the spiders.

“Well, according to Koganegawa, Oikawa-san mistimed his prank and put the spiders in  _ after  _ everyone from Shiratorizawa had taken their baths. Poor Goshiki was only going back in to grab his underwear, and that was when he got attacked by a bunch of creepy crawlies.”

Hinata shuddered. “Just from the sounds of his screams, I wonder how many spiders Oikawa-san managed to sneak in.”

He reached over to steal another bite from Kageyama’s toast.

The night before that, Hitoka had also lost sleep because the lights kept blinking on and off. Between that and the impromptu blackout that had occurred seconds after Aoba Johsai’s arrival to the camp, Hitoka was convinced that a ghost had made its way into the school somehow.

The managers found out after a round of snooping that it was the work of Johzenji, who somehow found their way into the electrical room led by Terushima. Hitoka spent the next day in a sleep deprived daze watching Misaki scream at her team to stop causing trouble for the rest of the schools. They had the decency to look a little ashamed, although Hitoka wasn’t sure how long it would be before another Johzenji-induced disaster occurred.

Well, whatever trouble Johzenji managed to cook up, Hitoka was sure that it would never be worse than the chaos that occurred  _ just  _ from the practice game matchups. She stared at the commotion starting on court two.

Tanaka dove under the net to get up in Futakuchi’s face while Futakuchi towered over him, sporting a shit eating grin. Daichi stormed in to separate them, Tsukishima rolling his eyes behind his glasses and Aone glaring daggers at Futakuchi’s backside. Asahi looked one step away from fainting.

Hitoka retreated into the laundry room.  _ Just two more days of this, Hitoka. Two more days and you’ll be back to your precious Muji pens and Mildliners to write pretty notes with in class. _

She took a deep breath. Two days. She’d survive this hellscape for two more days.

* * *

On second thought, no. Hitoka was not surviving this hellscape.

“You have all worked hard over the course of this training camp. As a treat, and to close out the summer, we have decided to host a water fight for you all. The last team standing will get first pick at dinner tonight,” Coach Saitou announced on the very last day of camp.

Hitoka glanced anxiously at Shimizu, who simply sighed and hauled out the buckets of water balloons. She smiled at Hitoka as the boys exploded into cheers and rushed in to grab balloons and water guns.

“You’ll be fine, Hitoka-chan,” She unrolled the hose for refills. “They don’t aim at managers.”

“Um.” Hitoka took one look at the bloodthirsty gleam in Sugawara’s eye before darting behind the nearest tree. “I’ll just. I’ll just be here if you need me.” She waved at Shimizu, crouching low in the grass.

Shimizu laughed and went across the lawn to join Nametsu and Misaki in lining up buckets for the boys to use. Runa was nowhere to be found, perhaps wisely hiding in the managers’ room to avoid the onslaught.

“Game ends when all teams but one are out! Good luck players!” A battle hungry roar erupted over the warzone.

Hitoka shuddered. This would be a long and bloody fight.

* * *

“Tough week, huh?” Yamaguchi clapped Hitoka on the shoulder. “Man, feels like I could sleep for days after all of that exercise.”

They piled into the bus, stomachs full from the farewell dinner and hair drying tough and sticky after the water fight. As it was, Hitoka was still wrapped in a towel from being ambushed by an unlikely alliance between Oikawa and Futakuchi.

“Heh. Yeah. Tough week.” She gingerly lowered herself onto the leather seat.

Shimizu climbed in next to her. “This is likely the last large-scale training camp we’ll have this year. Did you have fun?” She smiled.

Hitoka stared back at her. She could have given a four hour long running commentary about how she almost died multiple times over the course of the week. She slept a total of three hours during the entire camp. She was going to smell like hose water and mildew for the next few months.

“Fun? Yeah, I had fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I would like to apologize to Yachi for putting her through this. She did not deserve this kind of torture.
> 
> Second, I would like to congratulate you all for making it to the end of this disaster. Please give yourself a pat on the back.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and stay safe!


End file.
